Australia Introduction

Christmas, 1995: I’m sitting cross legged under the tree, my mouth agape at one of the finest gifts Santa has ever given me: a copy of “World’s Greatest Roller Coaster Thrills in 3D” on VHS. There exists home video footage of me in all my pre-braces bucktoothed glory nervously marveling… [Continue Reading]

Adventure World

Over the years I have learned that it’s generally a good idea to verify promotional discounts found on third party and deal-of-the-day websites. Unless you’re dealing with big names like Groupon or LivingSocial, it’s wise to err on the side of caution and make sure the business for which you… [Continue Reading]


When Richard’s church choir director once mentioned he grew up in Perth, my response was, “Oh, I’m sorry.” The reason I said this is because at the time, I was naïve, ignorant, and didn’t know what the hell I was talking about. Well, I’m still all of those things, but… [Continue Reading]

Alice Springs

“There is a peacock by the side of the pool.” “Dafuq?!” Well, okay, I didn’t actually say “dafuq.” Not verbally, at least. Instead, I whipped around, which is to say I swirled around because we were in the aforementioned pool, and faced Richard with my brow furrowed, eyes squinted, chin… [Continue Reading]


I had a good think about how to structure this post. Normally I relate things in the order they happened, but the problem with describing our visit to Uluru in that manner is that it would go something like this: We drove to the rock. There were flies. Then we… [Continue Reading]


I’ve long had a thing for Sydney. Call it a curiosity, call it a fascination, call it whatever you’d call the act of having a crush on a city—however you describe it, Sydney has held a piece of my mind captive ever since NBC spent two weeks in September 2000… [Continue Reading]

TreeTop Adventure Park

Roller coaster related things, I said. Related. Richard likes surprising me. Surprise adventures, surprise geeky coaster souvenirs, surprise lunges from outside the bathroom door if I unintentionally wake him up when I get up to pee in the middle of the night. This is someone who didn’t tell me we… [Continue Reading]

Scenic World

…a coaster whose creditworthiness is clear-cut, uncomplicated…   …and utterly impossible to tick. Hey, I never said it was a coaster that was open. Or that has ever been open. Or that ever will be open.   I mean, just because it’s a cat’s cradle of peeling paint and rust… [Continue Reading]

Luna Park Sydney

An actual, serious, for real obtainable credit at last, you ask?   Psyyyych!   Too bad!   Looks like you’ll be waiting a little longer. hahahaha, aren’t I just so full of the lolz? Anyway. The recipe for our evening arrival at Luna Park Sydney called for a heaping scoop… [Continue Reading]

Merimbula’s Magic Mountain

What Normal Couples Do On Valentine’s Day: Prostrate themselves in wanton acts of consumerism at the altar of the goddess Hallmark What We Do On Valentine’s Day: Drive ten hours for a Pinfari Zyklon. A Pinfari Zyklon Richard already had. A Pinfari Zyklon Richard already had in a park he… [Continue Reading]

Wonderland Fun Park

Let’s whore. If there is one thing Australia is lacking in the coaster department, it’s those silly, little, out of the way places harboring a lone kiddie coaster that only the hardiest of credit whores seek out. And really, thank fuck for that. There is no surer way to question… [Continue Reading]

Luna Park Melbourne

You know how on Sesame Street, they indoctrinate children into the concept of corporate sponsorship and the empty and meaningless existence of consumer society by saying each episode is brought to you by a letter and a number? Well, guess what. Today’s trip report is brought to you by the letters… [Continue Reading]

Warner Bros. Movie World

*record scratch* *freeze frame* Yup, that’s me. You’re probably wondering how I ended up in this situation. Well, I’ll tell you. It all started with the Big Bang theory. And no, I don’t mean the sitcom, but hey, while we’re on the subject of trash TV, let me explain myself…. [Continue Reading]