Kolomenskoye Park

It was a long metro ride to our next park, during which I blocked from my mind the thought of another session standing in the rain next to closed rides.

Moscow is a large city, but I didn’t realize just how large until the train emerged briefly from underground and I found myself squinting from the sunlight streaming through the windows.  Only a few cloud puffs marred an otherwise brilliant blue sky.  I couldn’t help but smile and wonder if maybe we’d hit Victory Park just when the coaster gods were on their lunch break.

It took some sleuthing to find the funfair.  Admittedly, we walked for a long time around the fenced perimeter of Kolomenskoye Park, somehow completely missing the entrance closest to the rides.  Our walk took us through a flea market that was largely deserted by this time of day, although the smell of fresh fruits from some of the still open stalls was making my mouth water—which is how I knew I was very hungry, because the sum total of fruits I like is orange juice.  Eventually, I don’t even think we walked through an actual gate into the park, but rather saw a section of fence missing and ducked in, finding ourselves in an area consisting mainly of unshaded walking paths.  With no idea where to turn, we walked over to this map, expecting to figure it out via pictures and guesswork like we had in previous parks…


DSCN0395Except by golly, this map had English translations!

Once the site of a royal estate, Kolomenskoye Park is now part typical city park and part cultural site.  It includes various buildings, such as museums and what I believe are original 16th and 17th century forts and churches.



This is also an original, maybe give or take a few centuries.



Hmmm.  I see not many people are interested in paying homage to this supremely important cultural piece today.



That’s where cool cats like us come into play.  Those kids riding with us?  Yeah, wasn’t happening until they saw us and aspired to emulate our highly sophisticated, culturally refined and socially adept personas.



And our excitement was contagious, of course!



I told you, get used to this view.  Actually, that drop had some pep to it, which is to say that there was, in fact, the tiniest bit of ass lift.  Tiniest.

But otherwise Dragon Roller Coaster was…well, a standard Big Apple.  Except that it’s in Russia.



You know how they don’t mess around with verbose terms in their historical accounts?  Yeah, they don’t bullshit with whacked out worms, either.  It goes straight from demonic, child-eating dragon to Pax here.

In Soviet Russia, coaster ride you.



And from the look of it, chess play you, too.



Kolomenskoye’s attractions were laid out in a straight line and ranged from things as simple as seesaws…



…to larger rides such as swings and bumper boats.  Down the way there was a pirate ship and bumper cars.



Not a bad looking place by any stretch, just not very lively today.

Not that we were there very long, either.  We pretty much just did a hit and run, after which I played a rousing round of “Find the toilet with the least amount of ‘seat decorations’”, a game that was fast becoming an entertainment staple in this country.  We were toying with the idea of hitting up Victory Park again, so we wanted to get moving order to tick off our last known Moscow credit before doing so.