Attrapark VDNKH

Okay, so it would have been just Attrapark if we hadn’t found another park of the same name later in the day.  I included its metro stop location—it’s within what translates as the “All Russian Exhibition Center” —to differentiate.  Actually, if we’re really going to be specific, it would be “Attrapark Vserossijskij Vystavochnyj Tsentr,” but that just looks silly.

Attrapark-Long-Ass-Name was a substantial, well kept rides collection with two entrances off a small road.  It’s part of a complex containing another amusement park, joined by a long pedestrian promenade capped on both ends by some impressive buildings.  Not really knowing what to expect, I was rather impressed with the number of rides available, which included a Maurer mouse, an L&T kiddie and a Schwarzkopf City Jet.  Also impressive was the cost of each ride—close to $10 for a single ride on the larger coasters!


But I suppose with an entrance like this, one can get away with such exorbitant prices.



The entrance to the park itself is a bit more humble (and, I’d venture, looks quite nice when lit up at night).



But this?  This is not so humble.  



In the past, I’ve criticized Maurer mice for excessive trim brakes and uncomfortable restraints that seem designed precisely to exacerbate the irritation that comes with being halted every few seconds, in that one wonders if the designers have some sort of vendetta against the school bullies who punched them in the stomach as children.  Dorney Park’s Wild Mouse is a perfect example of this.



Tell me what’s missing here.

So I was slipping and sloshing all over the seat…



And then this drop happened, and I went airborne.  For quite some time.

I mean, this thing just ran balls out, no holds barred and was full of surprises literally around every corner.  I don’t think I stopped giggling the whole way.  It was what a wild mouse coaster should be–“boisterous,” as George put it.  Perhaps it owes this to its origins in the German fair circuit.  Perhaps its unusual two-seater cars enable stronger forces or something.  Whatever it is, well done, Attrapark.



TP…OHKA.  TPOHKA…TP…OH…KA.  Tapioca!  Of course!  Tapioca Tapioca Tapioca!  Today’s Russian lesson is brought to you by Kozy Shack.



Up next was the L&T Mini Coaster.  Standard fare here.



I’m really glad that Stereotypical Mexican Mouse is getting along with African Savannah Elephant and Amazonian Monkey, all within the Motherland.  Way to celebrate diversity, kids.



And if that doesn’t accurately depict the bare necessities (of copyright infringement), then I don’t know what does :)



Also, I thought it was really nice of the park to let Martin park his scooter right next to the coaster.



Now this is special.  Tell me that doesn’t look amazing.



Also, these.  These with no restraints.  These, the way they should be.  Attrapark, you know what you’re doing.



It ran very well, too.  The ascent following the first drop was an especially powerful handful of laterals that elicited many grunts and a smashed knee or two in the train.

This was some very good, old fashioned Schwarzkopf fun.



It was the setting of some “Never in America” instances, too—for example, accessing the lead car meant I actually had to step well beyond the safety railing on the ride platform.  Also, the exit platform is separate from the entrance and there is no one there to babysit disembarking riders.  It’s the little things that really make me reflect on the state of the gene pool in my country.



This would never be in America, either.  You don’t need a game to let you vicariously partake in this activity.



But there are some of these left in America.  I like these.  There’s no other reason for this picture beyond telling you that and to showcase my fine talent in taking photos with zero obstructions, like power lines, blocking the subject.



See?  Now let’s follow these handsome feet across the way to Attractionmania, shall we?



Just be on the lookout for any stray vehicles from this driving school attraction that is placed in the not unusual at all location of this imperial building’s front lawn.